Life has many unanswered questions. Why do we hiccup? Who decided jeans needed tiny useless pockets? And perhaps most importantly: why was there a squirrel in Gregory’s garden wearing half a sandwich like a poncho?
Gregory didn’t panic. He had already seen stranger things—like the time his neighbour tried to train a goldfish to use a doorbell. But even by his standards, the sandwich-squirrel was notable. The creature sat on the fence, staring with the confidence of someone who had absolutely no regrets about becoming a walking lunchtime.
To distract himself from asking the universe hard questions, Gregory opened his laptop. Bad idea. Staring back at him were five browser tabs he couldn’t explain—roof cleaning isle of wight, patio cleaning isle of wight, driveway cleaning isle of wight, a general page about exterior cleaning isle of wight, and of course, the unstoppable pressure washing isle of wight. None of them had anything to do with squirrel fashion. Or sandwiches. Or sandwich-wearing squirrels.
Gregory tried to piece it all together. Maybe the squirrel was making a statement about food waste. Maybe it had mistaken the sandwich for tactical armour. Maybe the tabs were open because even the universe thought his patio could use a rinse before the next rodent fashion show.
The squirrel took a single slow bite out of the bread cape, maintaining unbroken eye contact. Gregory respected the confidence. He wondered briefly whether there were support groups for people who’d witnessed oddly dressed wildlife. Or perhaps the real support group was just whoever kept opening cleaning-related web pages on his laptop at 3am.
Just then, a second squirrel appeared—this one wearing what looked like a slice of cheese as a bib. The first squirrel nodded at it, as if to say, “We feast. But we do it with style.”
Gregory closed the laptop, because clearly the internet had no answers. Not even patio cleaning isle of wight could explain why rodents were becoming edible fashion icons. He decided to let the squirrels continue their deli-themed existence in peace.
Later, after the sandwich had been eaten and the squirrels had moved on, Gregory reopened the laptop. The tabs were still there. Not closed. Not altered. Just patiently existing, as if waiting for him to finally accept that life is 10% logic, 60% confusion, and 30% hyperlinks to things you did not search for.
He didn’t close them this time. He just nodded—like a man who has finally accepted both squirrels and destiny.
And somewhere, in a tree not far away, a squirrel tightened its sandwich wrap and prepared for whatever tomorrow would bring.